What is love?


“What is love?” I whispered, my question barely rising above the dull hum of the heater. I could feel the chilly air nipping at my exposed toes. He’d turned on the heating but didn’t close the window. He sighed. “That’s a short question with a long answer.” Our society has loaded the concept of ‘love’ with far more than any individual could ever hope to unpack within a single lifetime...



I can’t stop him from coming to see me. However much I pray, I plead, I beg and I believe, he comes. Sometimes I know he’s coming. There’s the shiver of the back, the creeping dread, the sixth sense that says he’s around, although I can’t see him. Other times, I get no warning. He just appears next to me, whispering foul things into my ear. You’re not good...

My first trip to CAPS, then the ER


“Hi, my name is Leo. I’m a student at Northwestern University. And I suffer from serious depression-like symptoms.” This is part two of my ongoing project to write out my personal history in an effort to untangle the emotional history and stressors of my life. Read Part One: Three, two, one: What do I do when I fall in love with another boy? To be precise, I’ve never been...

Three, two, one: What do I do when I fall in love with another boy?


I was 13 when I first thought about killing myself. I know it was that age only because I remember a specific detail that couldn’t have occurred when I got any older. After my sister, Lisa, moved to college when I was 14, I left the bedroom at the back of our third-floor 3-bedroom apartment, overlooking the fence, and into the larger bedroom that used to be hers. The fence is an important...

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